Some Thoughts About Short People

I have come to the conclusion that I am abnormally short. I am a whopping 4'9" (and 3/4), but usually I round on up to 4'10". I have noticed that I'm not the only person who is over 8 years old and short. The comments that people make never cease to amaze me. Every time I meet someone who is even two inches taller than me, I feel the need to say, "I'm sorry I'm so short." Really? Below you will find my thoughts about short people.

Top 3 Questions/Comments

1) "You are so short!!" (I would like to say "Really?!?! OMG! No one ever told me that, and I never noticed! Thank you for letting me know.")

2) "Are you a midget?" (My response is usually just "No," but I would like to respond with another question..."Are you stupid?")

3) "Can you see over the steering wheel?" (What would I like to say? "Oh gosh no, I just drive around and hope I don't hit anything.")

Top 3 Talents of a Short Person

1) We can climb up any structure very quickly.
I basically can't reach anything on any shelf in any store. I can, however, figure out just where to stand to keep from knocking everything off while reaching what I need. If for some reason it is too high for that, I just stand around until someone at least five feet tall comes along, and ask them to get it down for me. It is slightly embarrassing.   

2) We can pay less for our shoes.
One of the bonus features of being 4'9" is ridiculously small feet. I wear a kids' size 4.5 shoe. Why even have feet if they are that small? Most people think being able to buy shoes in the kids department is great, because they are cheaper. They are cheaper...and I'm grateful for that. It does, however, take me approximately two hours to find a new pair of shoes. All of the shoes my size have pictures of Dora, fairies, or princesses on them. If not, they light up. Most all of  them have Velcro. It's truly a tragedy. At least they cost a little less though. Maybe no one will notice that they light up.
 
3) We can get comfortable in any kind of chair.
A sad part of being short is that your feet never reach the floor....ever. (Unless you carry around one of those teeny tiny chairs that kindergartners sit in, but then you don't even look right.) A short person is an expert at sitting on their legs, or criss-crossed. It works pretty well, unless you're in a rolling chair, and then it's a little dangerous. Short people almost always have at least one leg asleep, but it's all good.

Top 3 Disappointments of Being Short

1) No matter how many times you go to an amusement park, they have to measure you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than being almost thirty years old, and having to wear an armband to prove that you are tall enough to ride all of the rides at Kings Island. Even with the armband, they still measure you!

2) Biking is basically not an option.
The only bike that is comfortable for someone this short is fully decorated in Disney characters and has colorful streamers coming off of the handlebars. Adult bikes are WAY too tall, and if you fall off, it could be devastating.

3) You simply cannot buy clothes off the rack. 
If you're really short, and an occasion comes up where you need a new outfit, you might as well cancel. By the time you find something in the petite department that doesn't look like your  great-grandma, have it cut off, then shop for two hours in the kids department for a pair of shoes to match, you've most likely missed your event. You should probably feign illness.

Top 3 Things to Avoid Doing Around a Short Person

1) Please do not use a short person as a measuring device.
You would not believe how many people come up to me, stand shoulder to shoulder, and say "I  think I'm growing," or "I'm almost as tall as you." No offense, but that is not going to earn you a place in the Guinness Book of Records.

2) Please do not say "I thought you were a kid."
I do realize that I'm a teacher, and spend most of my day walking in a straight line with 8 year olds, but really? There's really no reason that I would ever like you to think that I am 8, so please avoid saying that I look like a kid.

3) Please avoid calling a short person a "little person."
I am not affiliated with "Little People, Big World," nor "The Little Couple." I am not a little person; I'm just short.


Well, now you should feel highly educated on the life and times of a short person. I hope that you've found this helpful, and can apply it to your life. Really, it's all funny, but slightly annoying stuff. I hope I've made you smile.