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Amanda
I'm a single foster mother who loves spending time with my sweet little one, traveling, and making memories. I am a Reading Interventionist at an elementary school and love what I do!
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Friday, November 15, 2013

My Random Life

My life is random. Really random. Apparently people enjoyed reading my ten random facts about myself on Facebook, so I'm listing lots more. (Disclaimer: I am not normal. I already know this. Feel free to judge.)

1) In third grade, I told my teacher I was going to be a koala when I grew up. I was serious. My hopes and dreams died that day. 

2) I only drink coffee on school days; not on weekends, holiday breaks, or summer breaks. 

3) I have four fake teeth. 

4) I once had a green station wagon. 

5) Rather than washing dirty dishes, I often throw them away. 

6) I hate hugs. 

7) I once wore a tracksuit to a funeral. 

8) I only like clear barrel blue Bic pens. 

9) I haven't shopped for groceries since January. 

10) I once chased my sister around with a dead fish and almost got strangled for it.

11) My bedtime is 8:05.

12) My closet is color coded, and I only use white hangers. 

13) I have a super small foot--size 4.5. 

14) I once had to do my laundry in the bathtub. 

15) I can sing in the car for hours without missing one word. 

16) One time I was pulled over for expired tags, but then also got written up for an old address on my license, and for not carrying an insurance card. (I didn't know I was supposed to have one. He asked for my insurance card, and I gave him my Humana card.)

17) I have like 47 pair of the same pants. 

18) I have a natural talent for making up games in the swimming pool. 

19) I can't swim, and I "drown" very often. 

20) I was the youngest and shortest person in my high school graduating class. 

21) I once went on a "Domino's buffalo wings diet". After that, a "Long Johns diet". No wonder I'm obese. 

22) I don't like odd numbers. I'm not superstitious...I just like for things to be even. 

23) At night, I lay everything out for the morning in the order I will need it.  Also, after I feed the baby, I immediately set the high chair up for the next feeding...napkin, baby food, spoon, bib, etc.

24) I used to sing and dance in front of the window in my bedroom with one leg up on my foot board. I thought I looked cool. (That was in middle school. I don't do it now.)

25) In fourth grade my teacher made me mad, so I popped her brand new, large, inflatable globe that she treasured. 

26) I only have Tervis Tumblers to drink out of. 

27) Every day I match my Tervis to my outfit. 

28) In my first few years of driving, I hit the following objects: 3 parked cars, 7 light poles, a row of mailboxes, a Sonic machine, an ATM machine, and an old man.  (I called the police on two of those occasions and turned myself in...probably not the two you are thinking of.)

29) I auditioned for the role of young Jenny in Forrest Gump. I obviously didn't get it. 

30) I did, however, make it into this cheesy music video, along with the rest of my family. 


31) I only shave my legs on June 1st.

32) I started a hip hop dance club after school my first year of teaching. I don't dance. 

33) I tried to mow my yard one time. My neighbor let me borrow his riding mower. I didn't know how to make a turn other than a circle. So, my yard looked like a giant crop circle. I've never mowed since.

34) I don't own a coat. 

35) I don't own a watch. 

36) I am pretty sure I have Misophonia. I cannot stand to hear people eat.

37) I never wanted to go to college. 

38) My nieces call me "Ninny" because of a joke. 

39) I really love granny panties. 

40) My first job was as a telemarketer. 

41) My Christmas tree and packages have to match my living room. 

42) I just learned that my eyes are hazel, not green. 

43) I once ran through a screen door.

44) I am only 3/4" taller than the requirement to be in a booster seat.

45) Everything in my house has to be symmetrical.

46) I have no color in my house. Everything is neutral.

47) I once had the cops called on me in high school because my teacher thought she heard me say I was going to bomb the school. I never said that.

48) I am terrified of cave crickets. I used to call my old neighbor crying every time I saw one. He would come and kill it. I am sure that he's glad I moved.

49) I am a reading teacher, but I do not like to read. 

50) I sometimes think I look like a ferret.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Let's Get Real--Infomercial Edition

Is it just me, or have you noticed that infomericals are getting more ridiculous by the day? Not only are the products silly, but they have terribly stupid names as well. Here are a few of my favorites!

Hot Buns
Buns are back, so who doesn't need a set of Hot Buns?




My favorite lines from the ad:
"My buns have never looked this good!"
"I got big buns and I like it."
"Comes in three sizes....mini, medium, and big fatty!"

Now, as you probably know, I don't mess with my hair a whole lot. You most likely will never catch me sporting a bun, unless I'm hanging out at home. This product makes me laugh a lot. Anyone have a set of Hot Buns? If so, could I test out a big fatty?


WaxVac
I'm sure you've all spent countless hours wondering if there is a more effective way of cleaning your ears. Never fear, the WaxVac is here!



WaxVac is a nifty little tool that just vacuums the dirt and water straight out of your ear. First of all, if you have enough time to vacuum your ears out, you have too much time. Secondly, if you are willing to wash that thing out and see all of that grossness, you might be crazy. I agree that we all need clean ears, but this is a little too much for me.


No! No!
Do you love to shave? NO! Maybe that's where this company came up with the clever name for their product...the No! No!



I don't even know where to begin with this one. Supposedly, one of the benefits of this product is that you can use No! No! just about anywhere. I guess if you enjoy removing hair from your body on the couch, or in front of the window (like the women in the ad), then this is the product for you! I would be embarrassed to have this. People would definitely make fun of me. I can hear it now, "Do you want to go do something tonight?" My response: "Sure, just let me No! No! real fast!" Simply ridiculous. Oh, it would be super weird if your kids starting playing with it! "No! No! Don't touch Mommy's No! No!" I just can't handle it.


Gray Away
Problems with gray hair? I've got just the product for you!



I'm cracking up again. What's the difference in this and spray paint? I can just see myself trying to use this. I would have half my forehead painted, along with my clothes, and anything else  around me. This looks like a hot mess waiting to happen. I hope people who sweat a lot don't use it because it would probably start running down their face. How natural can it look?


Let's get real...all of these are ridiculous! Part of me wants to buy them, just to test them out. The bad news is that I can already predict that they would each end in disaster. The good news is that if you call now, you can get two for the price of one! Just pay additional shipping and handling!

 
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