Dear Little One,
You don't know this, but this time of the year is referred to as "the most wonderful time of the year". People are shopping, homes are decorated, and families are making plans. Ugly sweaters are now cool, red and green are the most popular colors, and a different kind of music is playing. There is a sense of excitement, and most people are looking forward to the coming days.
You're too little now to understand what all the hustle and bustle is about, but it's called Christmas. For many people, Christmas is a time to celebrate with their families and friends. Gifts are given, meals are eaten, and memories are made.
This year, Christmas at my house is going to be different. There's an extra stocking hung on the mantle and more gifts under the tree. You've been to see Santa, made Christmas crafts, and even gotten in on the Elf on the Shelf action. You will wake up on Christmas morning to wrapping paper, boxes, bows, and a camera in your face for lots of pictures. We will jump in the car and head to see family for even more Christmas fun. What an eventful day it will be!
As great as all of this sounds, none of it is what I really want you to know about Christmas. What I want you to understand is that Christmas is about much more than gifts, Santa, decorations, and shopping. I want you to understand why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. You see, a tiny baby (maybe about your size), was born long ago. His name was Jesus. He came to save us, bring hope to the world, and show us what true love means. I pray that as you grow up, you will continue to hear of the birth of Jesus. I pray that you will come to know Him, and He will be number one in your life. It is my prayer that when Christmas comes around each year, you will understand that we are truly celebrating the birth of Christ...not all that other stuff.
So, Little One, when you give gifts for Christmas, may you think of the wise men who brought gifts to baby Jesus. When you sing Christmas songs, may you be reminded of the angels who sang of His birth. As you see opportunities to help people in need, may you react like the innkeeper and offer whatever you can. Like the shepherds, may you seek Christ--not only during the Christmas season, but throughout your life.
As you grow, Christmas will probably become one of your favorite times each year. Enjoy the fun and "magic" of the season. Cherish the moments with your family and friends. But, sweet Little One, never lose sight of the real reason for the Christmas season.
Merry Christmas,
Ms. Amanda
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Friday, May 1, 2015
Taking a Leap
I typically don't post about my personal life (or post at all lately), but I'm making an exception. May is National Foster Care month, and as a foster parent, I feel that this is a perfect time to share my story.
About three and a half years ago, I felt called to become a foster parent. Honestly, I was hoping I was imagining things, because at the time, that didn't seem like anything I wanted to do. I prayed about it, and I basically told God that I wasn't interested, but thanked Him for thinking of me. He had other plans. The next Sunday was, not coincidentally, "Orphan Sunday" at church. I remember thinking that that was ironic, but I knew better than to shrug it off.
That week, I called a social worker at DCBS to ask about what was involved in becoming a foster parent. I found out that I would need to go through 10 weeks of classes (MAPP), complete a profile, go through a background check, and complete two home visits. After that, if approved, I would be ready for children in my home.
After learning about the process, I began to tell some women in my Bible study group about my thoughts regarding fostering. Another lady in my group told me that she had considered fostering, and may be interested in going to the classes with me. I remember thinking that if she was going to go, I would too. If she backed out, that was my sign that I wasn't supposed to do it, because I didn't want to go alone. Funny story...a day or two before classes were to start, she told me she wasn't going. Perfect! Now surely that was the sign I had been looking for. Too bad that literally minutes later, I received a call from my friend who worked at DCBS telling me that the person who was supposed to teach my class wasn't going to be able to, so she would be. Well, now I knew for sure that it was meant to be.
Don't get me wrong, I knew that I was fully capable of fostering. I love children, I understand the needs of children who come from hard places, I had the extra room, and knew that I could financially make it work. Basically, I had no reason to say no. I think I was just scared of the unknown. I was scared of the birth parents, scared of the behaviors that I may be dealing with, and scared of getting attached. I was just scared, but I decided to trust God, and take this leap.
I began MAPP classes on April 19th, 2012. The classes were very informational, and I actually looked forward to going each week. My last class was June 28th. After turning in a bunch of paperwork and having two home visits, I was approved in July. Then, I just became attached to my phone...waiting for my first call. Every time an unfamiliar number popped up, my heart began to pound.
On August 9th, I received my first placement. Oh, what a nervous couple of hours I had while waiting for two little girls to show up on my doorstep. (Thanks to some friends and a nearby toilet, I was able to pull myself together before they came.)
Now, almost three years later, I have been blessed to provide a home for thirteen children (mostly infants). Sometimes I feel like I have a revolving door to my house, as most of my placements have been short. But, when I stop and think about it, I am so grateful for any amount of time that I was able to provide a safe and loving home for a child when they needed it most.
Fostering has been a journey of ups and downs. Seeing a happy baby grow and learn is awesome. Having to hand a baby over in the parking lot of DCBS is rough. There are days of laughter, and there are days of grieving. There are days when I think I have this whole parenting thing down, and days when I feel like a complete failure. There are days when I feel like I have a great support system, and days when I feel all alone. I am honest in saying that fostering is so hard, but so worth it.
I think one of the things that has surprised me the most while fostering has been the public perception of what fostering is, and how things work. I would be lying if I said I didn't have the same thoughts and questions as other people before I started. I think when a topic or cause is close to your heart, you want everyone to become educated and involved.
The general public thinks that foster parenting is like a job where you earn a paycheck. That's simply not true. The state does pay for the child's needs, but that money is to be spent on the child. The $22.70 p/day doesn't cover everything. So, most likely, foster parents spend their own money as well. Clothing, diapers, wipes, childcare, formula, food, and everything else adds up quickly. The state does allow the children to be placed on WIC, and while that is so helpful, it is not enough for the entire month. Daycare assistance is also available, but again, there is always an overage to be paid. Most foster parents don't receive baby/kid showers, so everything comes from their pockets in preparation for a placement. Preparing for different ages, genders, and clothing seasons really adds up. (This is why foster parents are so grateful for hand me downs and donations.)
Another misconception is that there is a chance to "keep" every child who comes into a foster home. The main goal of foster care is to reunite the children with their parents when mom/dad has made the necessary changes and is ready to parent. These birth parents (or at least the ones I've worked with) are not terrible people. They are people who lack positive role models, have grown up in similar situations, or simply don't know how to parent appropriately. They are fully deserving of an opportunity to get themselves together in an effort to get their child back. While many people foster with the intent of adopting, this can be a long process as time is given to the birth parents to make progress. Before asking a foster parent if they are going to get to "keep" a child, remember that they probably don't know the answer. Foster parents do what we do knowing that things could change at any time. We are all pretty good at living in a state of uncertainty.
A third misconception is one I hear almost every time I mention that I'm a foster parent. Someone looks at me and says, "Oh, I could never do that! I'd get too attached. You are awesome!" Um, no. Have you met me? I'm far from awesome. If I'm being completely honest, this can sometimes sting a little when I hear it. I'm sure I've said this to people in the past, and I completely get it. I appreciate the compliment. Let me say that we DO get attached. We care for these children like they are our own, and we love them deeply. Foster parents are not robots who take care of children and then hand them back without any feeling. We are not superheroes who are trying to save the world. We are people who are passionate about helping children, and are willing to put our own emotions on the line to do what we can for these children. Please know that if it's something you are interested in, and feel is right for you, you can do it.
I personally want to take time this month to say thank you to the people who have supported me along this journey. I have friends and family who pray for me and for the babies. There are people who have been willing to photograph my babies for free, or at a discounted rate. Some people are willing to babysit. Clothes have been donated by people when their children outgrew them. I have friends and family who create bonds with the babies, and love them like I do. I have friends who are there to celebrate the milestones, and friends who listen through my tears. Foster parenting is something I chose, but I cannot do it all alone. Please know that your support and generosity are greatly appreciated.
About three and a half years ago, I felt called to become a foster parent. Honestly, I was hoping I was imagining things, because at the time, that didn't seem like anything I wanted to do. I prayed about it, and I basically told God that I wasn't interested, but thanked Him for thinking of me. He had other plans. The next Sunday was, not coincidentally, "Orphan Sunday" at church. I remember thinking that that was ironic, but I knew better than to shrug it off.
That week, I called a social worker at DCBS to ask about what was involved in becoming a foster parent. I found out that I would need to go through 10 weeks of classes (MAPP), complete a profile, go through a background check, and complete two home visits. After that, if approved, I would be ready for children in my home.
After learning about the process, I began to tell some women in my Bible study group about my thoughts regarding fostering. Another lady in my group told me that she had considered fostering, and may be interested in going to the classes with me. I remember thinking that if she was going to go, I would too. If she backed out, that was my sign that I wasn't supposed to do it, because I didn't want to go alone. Funny story...a day or two before classes were to start, she told me she wasn't going. Perfect! Now surely that was the sign I had been looking for. Too bad that literally minutes later, I received a call from my friend who worked at DCBS telling me that the person who was supposed to teach my class wasn't going to be able to, so she would be. Well, now I knew for sure that it was meant to be.
Don't get me wrong, I knew that I was fully capable of fostering. I love children, I understand the needs of children who come from hard places, I had the extra room, and knew that I could financially make it work. Basically, I had no reason to say no. I think I was just scared of the unknown. I was scared of the birth parents, scared of the behaviors that I may be dealing with, and scared of getting attached. I was just scared, but I decided to trust God, and take this leap.
I began MAPP classes on April 19th, 2012. The classes were very informational, and I actually looked forward to going each week. My last class was June 28th. After turning in a bunch of paperwork and having two home visits, I was approved in July. Then, I just became attached to my phone...waiting for my first call. Every time an unfamiliar number popped up, my heart began to pound.
On August 9th, I received my first placement. Oh, what a nervous couple of hours I had while waiting for two little girls to show up on my doorstep. (Thanks to some friends and a nearby toilet, I was able to pull myself together before they came.)
Now, almost three years later, I have been blessed to provide a home for thirteen children (mostly infants). Sometimes I feel like I have a revolving door to my house, as most of my placements have been short. But, when I stop and think about it, I am so grateful for any amount of time that I was able to provide a safe and loving home for a child when they needed it most.
Fostering has been a journey of ups and downs. Seeing a happy baby grow and learn is awesome. Having to hand a baby over in the parking lot of DCBS is rough. There are days of laughter, and there are days of grieving. There are days when I think I have this whole parenting thing down, and days when I feel like a complete failure. There are days when I feel like I have a great support system, and days when I feel all alone. I am honest in saying that fostering is so hard, but so worth it.
I think one of the things that has surprised me the most while fostering has been the public perception of what fostering is, and how things work. I would be lying if I said I didn't have the same thoughts and questions as other people before I started. I think when a topic or cause is close to your heart, you want everyone to become educated and involved.
The general public thinks that foster parenting is like a job where you earn a paycheck. That's simply not true. The state does pay for the child's needs, but that money is to be spent on the child. The $22.70 p/day doesn't cover everything. So, most likely, foster parents spend their own money as well. Clothing, diapers, wipes, childcare, formula, food, and everything else adds up quickly. The state does allow the children to be placed on WIC, and while that is so helpful, it is not enough for the entire month. Daycare assistance is also available, but again, there is always an overage to be paid. Most foster parents don't receive baby/kid showers, so everything comes from their pockets in preparation for a placement. Preparing for different ages, genders, and clothing seasons really adds up. (This is why foster parents are so grateful for hand me downs and donations.)
Another misconception is that there is a chance to "keep" every child who comes into a foster home. The main goal of foster care is to reunite the children with their parents when mom/dad has made the necessary changes and is ready to parent. These birth parents (or at least the ones I've worked with) are not terrible people. They are people who lack positive role models, have grown up in similar situations, or simply don't know how to parent appropriately. They are fully deserving of an opportunity to get themselves together in an effort to get their child back. While many people foster with the intent of adopting, this can be a long process as time is given to the birth parents to make progress. Before asking a foster parent if they are going to get to "keep" a child, remember that they probably don't know the answer. Foster parents do what we do knowing that things could change at any time. We are all pretty good at living in a state of uncertainty.
A third misconception is one I hear almost every time I mention that I'm a foster parent. Someone looks at me and says, "Oh, I could never do that! I'd get too attached. You are awesome!" Um, no. Have you met me? I'm far from awesome. If I'm being completely honest, this can sometimes sting a little when I hear it. I'm sure I've said this to people in the past, and I completely get it. I appreciate the compliment. Let me say that we DO get attached. We care for these children like they are our own, and we love them deeply. Foster parents are not robots who take care of children and then hand them back without any feeling. We are not superheroes who are trying to save the world. We are people who are passionate about helping children, and are willing to put our own emotions on the line to do what we can for these children. Please know that if it's something you are interested in, and feel is right for you, you can do it.
I personally want to take time this month to say thank you to the people who have supported me along this journey. I have friends and family who pray for me and for the babies. There are people who have been willing to photograph my babies for free, or at a discounted rate. Some people are willing to babysit. Clothes have been donated by people when their children outgrew them. I have friends and family who create bonds with the babies, and love them like I do. I have friends who are there to celebrate the milestones, and friends who listen through my tears. Foster parenting is something I chose, but I cannot do it all alone. Please know that your support and generosity are greatly appreciated.
Due to confidentiality, I cannot post pictures or information about the children I have, but know that the sweet babies who have come through my door are amazing and beautiful. I commit to advocating for these children. I will continue to share posts about fostering on Facebook. I will continue to try to recruit other foster parents. I will continue to do my small part.
If you've ever considered fostering, or want to help a foster parent or child, this is the perfect time to make a move. Feel free to ask any questions you have. I would love to walk down this road with you. There's a child who needs you. Do you have a reason to say no?
If you've ever considered fostering, or want to help a foster parent or child, this is the perfect time to make a move. Feel free to ask any questions you have. I would love to walk down this road with you. There's a child who needs you. Do you have a reason to say no?
Friday, November 15, 2013
My Random Life
My life is random. Really random. Apparently people enjoyed reading my ten random facts about myself on Facebook, so I'm listing lots more. (Disclaimer: I am not normal. I already know this. Feel free to judge.)
1) In third grade, I told my teacher I was going to be a koala when I grew up. I was serious. My hopes and dreams died that day.
2) I only drink coffee on school days; not on weekends, holiday breaks, or summer breaks.
3) I have four fake teeth.
4) I once had a green station wagon.
5) Rather than washing dirty dishes, I often throw them away.
6) I hate hugs.
7) I once wore a tracksuit to a funeral.
8) I only like clear barrel blue Bic pens.
9) I haven't shopped for groceries since January.
10) I once chased my sister around with a dead fish and almost got strangled for it.
11) My bedtime is 8:05.
12) My closet is color coded, and I only use white hangers.
13) I have a super small foot--size 4.5.
14) I once had to do my laundry in the bathtub.
15) I can sing in the car for hours without missing one word.
16) One time I was pulled over for expired tags, but then also got written up for an old address on my license, and for not carrying an insurance card. (I didn't know I was supposed to have one. He asked for my insurance card, and I gave him my Humana card.)
17) I have like 47 pair of the same pants.
18) I have a natural talent for making up games in the swimming pool.
19) I can't swim, and I "drown" very often.
20) I was the youngest and shortest person in my high school graduating class.
21) I once went on a "Domino's buffalo wings diet". After that, a "Long Johns diet". No wonder I'm obese.
22) I don't like odd numbers. I'm not superstitious...I just like for things to be even.
23) At night, I lay everything out for the morning in the order I will need it. Also, after I feed the baby, I immediately set the high chair up for the next feeding...napkin, baby food, spoon, bib, etc.
24) I used to sing and dance in front of the window in my bedroom with one leg up on my foot board. I thought I looked cool. (That was in middle school. I don't do it now.)
25) In fourth grade my teacher made me mad, so I popped her brand new, large, inflatable globe that she treasured.
26) I only have Tervis Tumblers to drink out of.
27) Every day I match my Tervis to my outfit.
28) In my first few years of driving, I hit the following objects: 3 parked cars, 7 light poles, a row of mailboxes, a Sonic machine, an ATM machine, and an old man. (I called the police on two of those occasions and turned myself in...probably not the two you are thinking of.)
29) I auditioned for the role of young Jenny in Forrest Gump. I obviously didn't get it.
30) I did, however, make it into this cheesy music video, along with the rest of my family.
31) I only shave my legs on June 1st.
32) I started a hip hop dance club after school my first year of teaching. I don't dance.
33) I tried to mow my yard one time. My neighbor let me borrow his riding mower. I didn't know how to make a turn other than a circle. So, my yard looked like a giant crop circle. I've never mowed since.
34) I don't own a coat.
35) I don't own a watch.
36) I am pretty sure I have Misophonia. I cannot stand to hear people eat.
37) I never wanted to go to college.
38) My nieces call me "Ninny" because of a joke.
39) I really love granny panties.
40) My first job was as a telemarketer.
41) My Christmas tree and packages have to match my living room.
42) I just learned that my eyes are hazel, not green.
43) I once ran through a screen door.
44) I am only 3/4" taller than the requirement to be in a booster seat.
45) Everything in my house has to be symmetrical.
46) I have no color in my house. Everything is neutral.
47) I once had the cops called on me in high school because my teacher thought she heard me say I was going to bomb the school. I never said that.
48) I am terrified of cave crickets. I used to call my old neighbor crying every time I saw one. He would come and kill it. I am sure that he's glad I moved.
49) I am a reading teacher, but I do not like to read.
50) I sometimes think I look like a ferret.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Let's Get Real--Infomercial Edition
Is it just me, or have you noticed that infomericals are getting more ridiculous by the day? Not only are the products silly, but they have terribly stupid names as well. Here are a few of my favorites!
Hot Buns
Buns are back, so who doesn't need a set of Hot Buns?
My favorite lines from the ad:
"My buns have never looked this good!"
"I got big buns and I like it."
"Comes in three sizes....mini, medium, and big fatty!"
Now, as you probably know, I don't mess with my hair a whole lot. You most likely will never catch me sporting a bun, unless I'm hanging out at home. This product makes me laugh a lot. Anyone have a set of Hot Buns? If so, could I test out a big fatty?
WaxVac
I'm sure you've all spent countless hours wondering if there is a more effective way of cleaning your ears. Never fear, the WaxVac is here!
WaxVac is a nifty little tool that just vacuums the dirt and water straight out of your ear. First of all, if you have enough time to vacuum your ears out, you have too much time. Secondly, if you are willing to wash that thing out and see all of that grossness, you might be crazy. I agree that we all need clean ears, but this is a little too much for me.
No! No!
Do you love to shave? NO! Maybe that's where this company came up with the clever name for their product...the No! No!
I don't even know where to begin with this one. Supposedly, one of the benefits of this product is that you can use No! No! just about anywhere. I guess if you enjoy removing hair from your body on the couch, or in front of the window (like the women in the ad), then this is the product for you! I would be embarrassed to have this. People would definitely make fun of me. I can hear it now, "Do you want to go do something tonight?" My response: "Sure, just let me No! No! real fast!" Simply ridiculous. Oh, it would be super weird if your kids starting playing with it! "No! No! Don't touch Mommy's No! No!" I just can't handle it.
Gray Away
Problems with gray hair? I've got just the product for you!
I'm cracking up again. What's the difference in this and spray paint? I can just see myself trying to use this. I would have half my forehead painted, along with my clothes, and anything else around me. This looks like a hot mess waiting to happen. I hope people who sweat a lot don't use it because it would probably start running down their face. How natural can it look?
Let's get real...all of these are ridiculous! Part of me wants to buy them, just to test them out. The bad news is that I can already predict that they would each end in disaster. The good news is that if you call now, you can get two for the price of one! Just pay additional shipping and handling!
Hot Buns
Buns are back, so who doesn't need a set of Hot Buns?
My favorite lines from the ad:
"My buns have never looked this good!"
"I got big buns and I like it."
"Comes in three sizes....mini, medium, and big fatty!"
Now, as you probably know, I don't mess with my hair a whole lot. You most likely will never catch me sporting a bun, unless I'm hanging out at home. This product makes me laugh a lot. Anyone have a set of Hot Buns? If so, could I test out a big fatty?
WaxVac
I'm sure you've all spent countless hours wondering if there is a more effective way of cleaning your ears. Never fear, the WaxVac is here!
WaxVac is a nifty little tool that just vacuums the dirt and water straight out of your ear. First of all, if you have enough time to vacuum your ears out, you have too much time. Secondly, if you are willing to wash that thing out and see all of that grossness, you might be crazy. I agree that we all need clean ears, but this is a little too much for me.
No! No!
Do you love to shave? NO! Maybe that's where this company came up with the clever name for their product...the No! No!
I don't even know where to begin with this one. Supposedly, one of the benefits of this product is that you can use No! No! just about anywhere. I guess if you enjoy removing hair from your body on the couch, or in front of the window (like the women in the ad), then this is the product for you! I would be embarrassed to have this. People would definitely make fun of me. I can hear it now, "Do you want to go do something tonight?" My response: "Sure, just let me No! No! real fast!" Simply ridiculous. Oh, it would be super weird if your kids starting playing with it! "No! No! Don't touch Mommy's No! No!" I just can't handle it.
Gray Away
Problems with gray hair? I've got just the product for you!
I'm cracking up again. What's the difference in this and spray paint? I can just see myself trying to use this. I would have half my forehead painted, along with my clothes, and anything else around me. This looks like a hot mess waiting to happen. I hope people who sweat a lot don't use it because it would probably start running down their face. How natural can it look?
Let's get real...all of these are ridiculous! Part of me wants to buy them, just to test them out. The bad news is that I can already predict that they would each end in disaster. The good news is that if you call now, you can get two for the price of one! Just pay additional shipping and handling!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Dear Diary
When I was a kid, I was very into my diaries and journals. Somehow, I still have all of them. (Anyone who knows me knows that that's a big deal, since I love to throw things away.) In an attempt to avoid cleaning, I decided to pull them out and read them. Some things were just pretty funny, so I thought I'd share.
March 22, 1993
"Guess what? I got GROUNDED from the phone! I am at such a depressing age."
Seriously? I was 10 years old. If that was depressing, I don't even have words for being 30. Some days I would like to be grounded from the phone.
Nov. 25, 1993 (Thanksgiving "93")
"Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for my family, even though they get a little bit stupid a lot."
That's just funny. There's nothing else to even say about it.
Saturday, Nov. 27, 1993 9:43PM
"My sister is a pain in the brat! She always tries to act sooo perfect. About EVERYTHING!"
This is still true!! Not much has changed! And who even says "pain in the brat?"
Thursday, April 29th, 1999
"Becky is all excited...she made the varsity cheer leading team. I'm happy for her, but then again, it really worries me. A lot of cheerleaders have bad reputations and party, and I don't want her to end up like that, but all I can do is pray."
Well, the good news is, she turned out okay. God answers prayers! ;)
September 9, 1999
"I took the driver's test today, and I didn't pass it. First, we did all the little checks, and for the life of me I couldn't remember how to dim & brighten the lights. But anyway, I figured that out and went on. I messed up my turnabout really bad, almost hit a light pole when I had to 'park on a hill,' and I didn't turn the wheel into the curb, so I got counted off on that--I had never been taught to do any of those things anyway!"
Seriously?!?! What DID I know about driving?
Well, there was A LOT more that was funny....mainly about all the boys I liked and "went out with," but seeing how I am friends with most of them on Facebook, I should refrain from talking about them. Just so you know, I no longer keep a diary...promise! :)
March 22, 1993
"Guess what? I got GROUNDED from the phone! I am at such a depressing age."
Seriously? I was 10 years old. If that was depressing, I don't even have words for being 30. Some days I would like to be grounded from the phone.
Nov. 25, 1993 (Thanksgiving "93")
"Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for my family, even though they get a little bit stupid a lot."
That's just funny. There's nothing else to even say about it.
Saturday, Nov. 27, 1993 9:43PM
"My sister is a pain in the brat! She always tries to act sooo perfect. About EVERYTHING!"
This is still true!! Not much has changed! And who even says "pain in the brat?"
Thursday, April 29th, 1999
"Becky is all excited...she made the varsity cheer leading team. I'm happy for her, but then again, it really worries me. A lot of cheerleaders have bad reputations and party, and I don't want her to end up like that, but all I can do is pray."
Well, the good news is, she turned out okay. God answers prayers! ;)
September 9, 1999
"I took the driver's test today, and I didn't pass it. First, we did all the little checks, and for the life of me I couldn't remember how to dim & brighten the lights. But anyway, I figured that out and went on. I messed up my turnabout really bad, almost hit a light pole when I had to 'park on a hill,' and I didn't turn the wheel into the curb, so I got counted off on that--I had never been taught to do any of those things anyway!"
Seriously?!?! What DID I know about driving?
Well, there was A LOT more that was funny....mainly about all the boys I liked and "went out with," but seeing how I am friends with most of them on Facebook, I should refrain from talking about them. Just so you know, I no longer keep a diary...promise! :)
Monday, October 8, 2012
Am I The Only One?: Parenting Edition
OK, so you probably know by now that I have become a foster parent to two little girls--a baby and a toddler. Becoming an instant parent has taught me a few things....most of which leave me asking, "Is this my real life?" And yes, it is. If you're thinking that this post is going to be about the miracle of life, and how great it is to stare into a child's eyes, you're wrong. This is the real scoop on my experience as a single parent. Having been around children forever, there were plenty of things that I knew. Apparently, some things, people just don't talk about. Never fear, I'm not one to hold back. Am I the only one who these things happen to? Probably not. If you can relate, let me know. If you think I'm just crazy, or something might be wrong with me, please make me aware of that too so I can get it checked out.
Am I the only one who never takes a full-length shower?
One of my specialties in life has been quick showers. When you add a baby to the mix, however, they become super speedy. I always bring toys into the bedroom, shut all the hallway doors so she can't fall down the stairs, and proceed to take the fastest shower of my life. About 37 seconds into the shower though, inevitably, there's a little head that pops into the shower. Um, that freaks me out! I cannot just be standing there all naked with a random kid staring at me. I try to distract her by throwing random objects out for her to play with...shaving cream or whatever I can find. Don't worry, that only lasts about 3 seconds, and then the shower curtain gets pulled back again. I don't know when the last time was that I actually did everything I'm supposed to do in the shower. Just the other day I looked at my armpit hair and realized it was long enough to braid. Why? Because I'm scared the little head poking in will notice me playing with a razor and then it will become a new toy. Most people would remedy this by taking a shower at night, but I've tried that, and it just doesn't work out too well for me. My hair always looks crazy the next day! If you notice a stench around me, please just wave, walk on, and try to be understanding.
Am I the only one who becomes schizophrenic at night?
When I first got the girls, I told the oldest to yell for me if she needed me in the middle of the night. She learned that really quickly, and had no problem yelling "Ms. Amanda" as loudly as possible, over and over. After I explained to her that she doesn't need to yell for no reason, the yelling pretty much stopped. The problem is, I still hear voices! I wake up at random hours and am sure that I heard someone yelling my name or crying. It's kind of disturbing. I'm not sure if that's normal for parents, or if I should be committed.
Am I the only one who always has their bra hanging out of their shirt?
Until about eight weeks ago, I thought that my bras were just fine. There's nothing like a good, plain, nude bra. The problem is that the baby finds it fun to just walk around pulling my shirt down. What the heck? Now everyone knows I'm just a plain Jane nude girl! I was walking around church one day and my sister informed me that I was all hanging out. That's just unnecessary in the house of God. The bad part is, I don't even feel it anymore. It just seems normal to be all exposed. This leaves me with two choices...tie the kids hands up, or buy some cuter bras. Have you seen the price of bras?!?!
Am I the only one who isn't a germophobe?
OK, I know there are probably some hand sanitizing fanatics reading this right now, so I apologize in advance. I have never been a person who is super germ conscious. (Well, I became a little bit more so after having my spleen taken out since I have less of an immune system.) When I go out in public, people are appalled by the fact that I let the baby eat right off the table. I tear some food up, put it in front of her on the table, and she goes to town. Everyone freaks out! I have friends who have picked up the food, put it on a plate, and then given it back to her. My favorite part is when the baby throws the plate across the room, and the friend continues to try. I want to look at them and say that there's no point. She specializes in throwing things, and I am not trying to get hit in the head with a dish. Eating off the table isn't going to kill her. I promise!!! I'm really glad that they don't come to my house. The baby throws food all over the place, and sometimes I leave it there in case she wants a snack! People also freak out when I don't pull out a bottle of hand sanitizer after every bodily function. I just want to say that I appreciate all of the concern, but it's really going to be okay.
I had about 14 other things I wanted to write about, but my memory has really been failing me since I got the kids. I feel like I should start taking notes for the next installment of Am I The Only One? I am sure that a certain little kid would draw all over it, or a baby would eat it for a snack, so that probably will never make it into the blog. Any reassurance that I'm normal would be appreciated!
Am I the only one who never takes a full-length shower?
One of my specialties in life has been quick showers. When you add a baby to the mix, however, they become super speedy. I always bring toys into the bedroom, shut all the hallway doors so she can't fall down the stairs, and proceed to take the fastest shower of my life. About 37 seconds into the shower though, inevitably, there's a little head that pops into the shower. Um, that freaks me out! I cannot just be standing there all naked with a random kid staring at me. I try to distract her by throwing random objects out for her to play with...shaving cream or whatever I can find. Don't worry, that only lasts about 3 seconds, and then the shower curtain gets pulled back again. I don't know when the last time was that I actually did everything I'm supposed to do in the shower. Just the other day I looked at my armpit hair and realized it was long enough to braid. Why? Because I'm scared the little head poking in will notice me playing with a razor and then it will become a new toy. Most people would remedy this by taking a shower at night, but I've tried that, and it just doesn't work out too well for me. My hair always looks crazy the next day! If you notice a stench around me, please just wave, walk on, and try to be understanding.
Am I the only one who becomes schizophrenic at night?
When I first got the girls, I told the oldest to yell for me if she needed me in the middle of the night. She learned that really quickly, and had no problem yelling "Ms. Amanda" as loudly as possible, over and over. After I explained to her that she doesn't need to yell for no reason, the yelling pretty much stopped. The problem is, I still hear voices! I wake up at random hours and am sure that I heard someone yelling my name or crying. It's kind of disturbing. I'm not sure if that's normal for parents, or if I should be committed.
Am I the only one who always has their bra hanging out of their shirt?
Until about eight weeks ago, I thought that my bras were just fine. There's nothing like a good, plain, nude bra. The problem is that the baby finds it fun to just walk around pulling my shirt down. What the heck? Now everyone knows I'm just a plain Jane nude girl! I was walking around church one day and my sister informed me that I was all hanging out. That's just unnecessary in the house of God. The bad part is, I don't even feel it anymore. It just seems normal to be all exposed. This leaves me with two choices...tie the kids hands up, or buy some cuter bras. Have you seen the price of bras?!?!
Am I the only one who isn't a germophobe?
OK, I know there are probably some hand sanitizing fanatics reading this right now, so I apologize in advance. I have never been a person who is super germ conscious. (Well, I became a little bit more so after having my spleen taken out since I have less of an immune system.) When I go out in public, people are appalled by the fact that I let the baby eat right off the table. I tear some food up, put it in front of her on the table, and she goes to town. Everyone freaks out! I have friends who have picked up the food, put it on a plate, and then given it back to her. My favorite part is when the baby throws the plate across the room, and the friend continues to try. I want to look at them and say that there's no point. She specializes in throwing things, and I am not trying to get hit in the head with a dish. Eating off the table isn't going to kill her. I promise!!! I'm really glad that they don't come to my house. The baby throws food all over the place, and sometimes I leave it there in case she wants a snack! People also freak out when I don't pull out a bottle of hand sanitizer after every bodily function. I just want to say that I appreciate all of the concern, but it's really going to be okay.
I had about 14 other things I wanted to write about, but my memory has really been failing me since I got the kids. I feel like I should start taking notes for the next installment of Am I The Only One? I am sure that a certain little kid would draw all over it, or a baby would eat it for a snack, so that probably will never make it into the blog. Any reassurance that I'm normal would be appreciated!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Some Thoughts About Short People
I have come to the conclusion that I am abnormally short. I am a whopping 4'9" (and 3/4), but usually I round on up to 4'10". I have noticed that I'm not the only person who is over 8 years old and short. The comments that people make never cease to amaze me. Every time I meet someone who is even two inches taller than me, I feel the need to say, "I'm sorry I'm so short." Really? Below you will find my thoughts about short people.
Top 3 Questions/Comments
1) "You are so short!!" (I would like to say "Really?!?! OMG! No one ever told me that, and I never noticed! Thank you for letting me know.")
2) "Are you a midget?" (My response is usually just "No," but I would like to respond with another question..."Are you stupid?")
3) "Can you see over the steering wheel?" (What would I like to say? "Oh gosh no, I just drive around and hope I don't hit anything.")
Top 3 Talents of a Short Person
1) We can climb up any structure very quickly.
I basically can't reach anything on any shelf in any store. I can, however, figure out just where to stand to keep from knocking everything off while reaching what I need. If for some reason it is too high for that, I just stand around until someone at least five feet tall comes along, and ask them to get it down for me. It is slightly embarrassing.
2) We can pay less for our shoes.
One of the bonus features of being 4'9" is ridiculously small feet. I wear a kids' size 4.5 shoe. Why even have feet if they are that small? Most people think being able to buy shoes in the kids department is great, because they are cheaper. They are cheaper...and I'm grateful for that. It does, however, take me approximately two hours to find a new pair of shoes. All of the shoes my size have pictures of Dora, fairies, or princesses on them. If not, they light up. Most all of them have Velcro. It's truly a tragedy. At least they cost a little less though. Maybe no one will notice that they light up.
3) We can get comfortable in any kind of chair.
A sad part of being short is that your feet never reach the floor....ever. (Unless you carry around one of those teeny tiny chairs that kindergartners sit in, but then you don't even look right.) A short person is an expert at sitting on their legs, or criss-crossed. It works pretty well, unless you're in a rolling chair, and then it's a little dangerous. Short people almost always have at least one leg asleep, but it's all good.
Top 3 Disappointments of Being Short
1) No matter how many times you go to an amusement park, they have to measure you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than being almost thirty years old, and having to wear an armband to prove that you are tall enough to ride all of the rides at Kings Island. Even with the armband, they still measure you!
2) Biking is basically not an option.
The only bike that is comfortable for someone this short is fully decorated in Disney characters and has colorful streamers coming off of the handlebars. Adult bikes are WAY too tall, and if you fall off, it could be devastating.
3) You simply cannot buy clothes off the rack.
If you're really short, and an occasion comes up where you need a new outfit, you might as well cancel. By the time you find something in the petite department that doesn't look like your great-grandma, have it cut off, then shop for two hours in the kids department for a pair of shoes to match, you've most likely missed your event. You should probably feign illness.
Top 3 Things to Avoid Doing Around a Short Person
1) Please do not use a short person as a measuring device.
You would not believe how many people come up to me, stand shoulder to shoulder, and say "I think I'm growing," or "I'm almost as tall as you." No offense, but that is not going to earn you a place in the Guinness Book of Records.
2) Please do not say "I thought you were a kid."
I do realize that I'm a teacher, and spend most of my day walking in a straight line with 8 year olds, but really? There's really no reason that I would ever like you to think that I am 8, so please avoid saying that I look like a kid.
3) Please avoid calling a short person a "little person."
I am not affiliated with "Little People, Big World," nor "The Little Couple." I am not a little person; I'm just short.
Well, now you should feel highly educated on the life and times of a short person. I hope that you've found this helpful, and can apply it to your life. Really, it's all funny, but slightly annoying stuff. I hope I've made you smile.
Top 3 Questions/Comments
1) "You are so short!!" (I would like to say "Really?!?! OMG! No one ever told me that, and I never noticed! Thank you for letting me know.")
2) "Are you a midget?" (My response is usually just "No," but I would like to respond with another question..."Are you stupid?")
3) "Can you see over the steering wheel?" (What would I like to say? "Oh gosh no, I just drive around and hope I don't hit anything.")
Top 3 Talents of a Short Person
1) We can climb up any structure very quickly.
I basically can't reach anything on any shelf in any store. I can, however, figure out just where to stand to keep from knocking everything off while reaching what I need. If for some reason it is too high for that, I just stand around until someone at least five feet tall comes along, and ask them to get it down for me. It is slightly embarrassing.
2) We can pay less for our shoes.
One of the bonus features of being 4'9" is ridiculously small feet. I wear a kids' size 4.5 shoe. Why even have feet if they are that small? Most people think being able to buy shoes in the kids department is great, because they are cheaper. They are cheaper...and I'm grateful for that. It does, however, take me approximately two hours to find a new pair of shoes. All of the shoes my size have pictures of Dora, fairies, or princesses on them. If not, they light up. Most all of them have Velcro. It's truly a tragedy. At least they cost a little less though. Maybe no one will notice that they light up.
3) We can get comfortable in any kind of chair.
A sad part of being short is that your feet never reach the floor....ever. (Unless you carry around one of those teeny tiny chairs that kindergartners sit in, but then you don't even look right.) A short person is an expert at sitting on their legs, or criss-crossed. It works pretty well, unless you're in a rolling chair, and then it's a little dangerous. Short people almost always have at least one leg asleep, but it's all good.
Top 3 Disappointments of Being Short
1) No matter how many times you go to an amusement park, they have to measure you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than being almost thirty years old, and having to wear an armband to prove that you are tall enough to ride all of the rides at Kings Island. Even with the armband, they still measure you!
2) Biking is basically not an option.
The only bike that is comfortable for someone this short is fully decorated in Disney characters and has colorful streamers coming off of the handlebars. Adult bikes are WAY too tall, and if you fall off, it could be devastating.
3) You simply cannot buy clothes off the rack.
If you're really short, and an occasion comes up where you need a new outfit, you might as well cancel. By the time you find something in the petite department that doesn't look like your great-grandma, have it cut off, then shop for two hours in the kids department for a pair of shoes to match, you've most likely missed your event. You should probably feign illness.
Top 3 Things to Avoid Doing Around a Short Person
1) Please do not use a short person as a measuring device.
You would not believe how many people come up to me, stand shoulder to shoulder, and say "I think I'm growing," or "I'm almost as tall as you." No offense, but that is not going to earn you a place in the Guinness Book of Records.
2) Please do not say "I thought you were a kid."
I do realize that I'm a teacher, and spend most of my day walking in a straight line with 8 year olds, but really? There's really no reason that I would ever like you to think that I am 8, so please avoid saying that I look like a kid.
3) Please avoid calling a short person a "little person."
I am not affiliated with "Little People, Big World," nor "The Little Couple." I am not a little person; I'm just short.
Well, now you should feel highly educated on the life and times of a short person. I hope that you've found this helpful, and can apply it to your life. Really, it's all funny, but slightly annoying stuff. I hope I've made you smile.
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